Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
