Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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