Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
