I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
