Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
