The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
