Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
