I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
