just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize