Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
