I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
