Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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