either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
