Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
