yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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