He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Soap is not a condiment
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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