I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
