My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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