He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
