just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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