never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
