it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
