If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Im part way to drunk.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
