so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
