Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
