I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
