Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
