pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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