talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
of course. lets lasso hookers.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
