He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
