We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
