Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
We talked him into tasing himself.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
