Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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