it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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