how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
