Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I need moral support for this bender
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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