I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
