so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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