He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
