tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
