My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
