During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
