if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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