Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
