A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize