he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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