I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
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