what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
