So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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