Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
