3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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