I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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