she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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