I bet he comes in French.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
