Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
