Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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