My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Randomize