...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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