is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
