im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize