porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
