$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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