Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
