Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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