i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
