are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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