she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
